hermeszeppeli

Pure Heart
Written for:
MARITOMBOLA 2020 “COME SCUSA NON HO SENTITO/...NON IMPORTA”

PROMPT EXPLORER: MISTERO, FORESTA, ACQUA + Stesso genere: Angst

Pure Heart

"The weather is nice, would you like to go hunting?"

"Oh? Are you sure I won't be a burden? I don't really know how to..."

"You'll never be a burden! I can teach you if you want!"

"Thank you, Rose. Oh, we should call Clover too..."

"Oh, she doesn't really like hunting that much..."

"Oh, then Ori-" Cecile stopped mid-sentence. He smiled apologetically. "Well, maybe it would be better with just the two of us, right?"

They made a beeline through the gardens to the forest.

Rose had brought a bow and a quiver full of arrows while she had given Cecile a huge basket to put their preys in.

Cecile fondled the hem of Rose's white dress shirt.

"I wanted to ask since before, is this shirt Thor's?"

"Oh, you noticed? yeah. My old clothes are a little tight for me so I started wearing his old ones. I think I actually like them more"

Rose stretched her arms. The fabric was soft and loose-fitting.

"Even if they're male clothes?"

Rose looked at him, pensive.

"I've never really thought about it?"

Aside from their father visit's none of them really put much thought about what they wore.

"Well, it's not like any of us follow etiquette. Father would beat as all if he saw us.

Clover's is always covered up because she's cold, Orick is probably too fancy for our father tastes too. Do I look bad in them?"

Cecile shook his head.

"I actually think they suit you."

The small braid on his left shoulder, longer than the rest of his hair, flapped over his chest. Rose looked at it rather than his face as she continued.

"It's just that... dresses feel so wrong, you know? They're so impractical and- well. I like dresses too, Clover is lovely in them. They're just not for me I guess"

Cecile started playing with his braid, his blond hair catching the light of the sun between his fingers.

" You know, the more you grow up, the more you resemble him. Thor, I mean."

It shouldn't have been a compliment, but it felt like it.

"Orick picks on me all the time"

"He picks on everyone"

"Haha, you're right":

"Your hair too. He used to have the same cut before he went to the battlefield"

Cecile put one of her locks behind her ear.

Rose was glad she hadn't tied it as usual.

Her hair had gotten better after she had cut it off. It was easier to take care of it now that it barely reached her shoulders and the ends weren't as dry.

She changed the subject, ignoring the heat she felt on her cheeks and hoping it wasn't visible.

"We should get out of the path if we want to find something."

But they kept talking way too much for a successful hunt, so Rose gave up and they focused on looking for vegetables instead. She talked at length about which plants were safe to eat and which ones to avoid, showing them to a surprised Cecile.

"Oh! These are edible! You can pick those!"

Rose crunched down in front of grey mushrooms with flat caps.

Cecile looked at them, a bit worried.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! I have a friend that taught me. They're tasty!"

They were too absorbed in their task to notice that the weather was turning bad.

A huge thunder made them both jump.

Rose looked at the sky and saw the clouds gather above them, coming from the direction of the mason.

They would never get home in time without getting drenched.

"Come with me!"

Rose took Cecile's hand and rushed through the trees.

There was a cave nearby. She knew the forest like the palm of her hand. She felt stupid. It made sense for a city boy like Cecile to not notice the sudden changes, but not for her.

He had a weak constitution as a kid, just like Clover. He seemed fine now but she didn't want to risk getting him sick.

It started pouring as soon at they were inside the cave.

"Woah! Just in time!"

Rose didn't work a sweat from running while Cecile was gasping for air with his hands on his knees. Rose felt a pung of guilt when she noticed he was trembling.

She patted his back.

"I'm sorry! I run too fast!"

"Don't- worry- about it..."Cecile said between breaths.

He was just about to rest his back on the cave walls but Rose tagged him.

"You really don't want to touch that!"

She put her mantle under her butt and made Cecile sit between her legs.

"There's A LOT of insects that crawl on those walls! We'll keep warm while we wait. It's a summer storm so it shouldn't take too much".

It was when she noticed how stiff Cecile was that she realized how close they were.

She was used to hugs and affectionate touches between them since they were children but this felt different.

She blushed at her own daringness.

But before she could say anything Cecile relaxed, shifting sideways so that they could see each other faces. He tangled one of her legs between his.

"Thank you" he simply said, looking up to her.

She turned slightly, shielding her face with her hair.

She didn't know how, but sometimes she forgot how beautiful he was.

How long his eyelashes were and how clear the blue of his eyes was.

How plump and soft his bottom lip was, always a bit chapped because he bit on it.

They stayed in silence for a while, until Cecile's breath turned even.

"You manhandled me and NOW you're acting shy?"

She flinched at that. That tone sounded a lot like Orick's when he picked on her, but didn't have the same malice. It was something else she didn't understand.

"I-I'm sorry, I just didn't want you to get drenched"

And then she imagined Cecile with his soft blue tunic all wet. How it would cling to his body, showing off the figure she could only imagine underneath.

Would the fabric turn seethrough from the rain?

For a moment she wished she hadn't run as fast.

Cecile didn't say anything more, but let her hug him.

Her heart was beating so much she could feel it above the sound of the rain.

"Cecile, I-" her voice was lost under the rumble of a thunder way closer than the rest.

Cecile froze beside her.

"What? I'm sorry I- I didn't hear you"

"...it doesn't matter"

The storm passed, but Rose felt restless all the way back.

They didn't take much because she was too lost in her head. It was meaningless to confess to Cecile, right?

He must have known.

She had liked him since as long as she could remember.

There hadn't been anyone else in her mind, ever.

She was so lucky to be her fiance.

She would have changed a lot in her life if she could but that was one of the things that made her feel blessed.

One day, they would get married.

She was worried that their marriage would turn loveless and cold like her mother's and her father's. Well, that was the norm. Nobles didn't marry out of love.

But they had always got alone well. She hadn't dared to hope for more.

But Cecile didn't seem put off by her appearance or by her passions.

He was going to be the perfect husband.

He would allow her to be as she wanted.

He was kind to everyone and he never raised his voice. He was never mean like Orick or violent like her father.

I'm so lucky to have you, Cecile.

I love you, Cecile.

She didn't really know what she wanted to say.

And then there were those other things.

The way he made her feel.

That heat inside her.

She really didn't have words for that.

They were in the gardens again. They were going to be back with the others, and then her father and brother would join in, and the other guests, and Clover, and Orick.

She was lucky already to have been able to spend some time alone with him.

And yet she wanted more.

There were no words for that.

But she had seen Orick drawings.

All the things that people did when they loved each other.

Cecile was walking a couple of feet behind her, and didn't notice she had stopped walking and had turned to him. He looked tired and pensive as well.

She grabbed his head and pressed her mouth on his.

All started crumbling after that.

They eat dinner in silence.

Clover was too tired to join, so she stayed in her room, so the was only Cecile, Clover and her at the dinner table.

Cecile tried to have small talk and after a while Rose joined in, pretending everything was normal.

Orick didn't say anything, but his eyes darted between them.

Rose excused herself with the excuse of checking on Clover.

The next morning they were both too busy preparing for their father's arrival.

Rose asked Emily to help her. Thankfully the young maid found a way to style her hair in a manner that hid the shorter length. She had also costumized a couple of older dresses for her.

It wasn't visible, but she had added fabric and made them only look like they were suffocating. They were still uncomfortable but at least it was manageable.

Thankfully Clover looked better after some days of rest.

Rose hadn't told her what had happened with Cecile. She really wanted to, Clover had always good advice to offer, but she was just recovering and Rose didn't want to make her worry. The ball and their father's visit was stressful enough already without adding that burden too..

With Father around there was no chance to speak peacefully.

Thor too was worrisome.

He looked even more muscular but he had dark bags under his eyes.

His smile was gone, and he didn't even attempted to hug them, looking like a second shadow of their father.

Still, when they were all asleep he had sneaked into everyone's room and left gifts.

A book for Clover and a new quiver for her.

Rose searched the hall looking for Cecile.

“Where is he?”

Orick was gulping beer after beer with his dead fish eyes fixed on his glass.He didn’t glance at her but he replied.

“Cecile and Thor escaped as soon as they could. Father is displeased”

Orick laughed bitterly at that last bit.

Rose could see their Father conversing with other nobles like nothing was wrong in an angle of the giant hall.. It was surprising how much Orick could pick up.

“I’ll look for them. Fuck, I hate this dress, it’s so damn heavy!”

“You should leave them alone. Why don’t you help Clover eat all the banquet instead?”

Clover was focused on her task. She was eating only a small sample of every single dish and critiquing each one. She was talking to another older noblewoman that was probably a distant relative Rose didn’t remember.

“I pass.”

She ran - or better, tried to - to her room to finally get changed.

She tossed the heavy, frilly dress away to get her usual trousers and shirt instead.

“Aaah! This feels so much better!”

Cecile and Thor must have been in the library. She ran straight to it, avoiding the dance hall.

Turning a corner she almost slammed into Emily.

The maid yelped but didn’t drop the beers she was carrying.

“L-Lady Rose, why did you change-”

“ Sorry Emily! You didn’t see me!”

Rose didn’t meet anyone else on her way to the library.

She leaned on the door and pressed her ear to it, trying to eavesdrop, but she didn’t hear anything.

She opened the door but after a quick search she was sure there wasn’t anyone inside.

“Where are they?!”

She sighed walking though the corridor. she sat by a window, collecting her thoughts. She was so sure they were in the library she hadn’t thought of an alternative.

She was worried she had made Cecile angry.

Why did she have to kiss him?!

She remembered his shocked face.

The way he had frozen against her.

“You and I shouldn’t do this kind of thing before we’re married, right?”

He had said, not looking at her in the eyes.

He had looked so upset she had run away without even saying she was sorry.

Did I ruin everything?

But he’s my fiance, isn’t he?

He was so pure… maybe he had never thought about what they were supposed to do despite being older.

She cursed those lewd drawings she had found in Orick’s study. It was his fault she had started thinking about those things in the first place.
She looked outside the window and she noticed two figures walking side by side in the gardens.

“Brother! Cecile!”

She used the secret passage she and Clover had found out that summer.

She had just put back the grate covering the small crack on the base of the outer walls of the castle when she heard their voices.

She wanted to greet them but her voice got stuck on her throat. After hesitating one more second, she hid behind a bush.

What the hell am I doing?!

“I knew what I was getting into but… the things that we do. The thing he makes me do, I-”

Thor's voice was unusually shaky. The footsteps stopped somewhere near her.

“You’re too kind for this, Thor. War isn’t for you”

“... I have to fight! It’s my duty! I’m the firstborn!”

“...I know, but this is hurting you. You should become a priest. Not even your father could stop you. Orick would be more than happy to take your place.”

“I can’t. He doesn’t know what this means. He doesn’t know how to fight. It has been years since he had stopped taking fencing lessons… I can’t do this to him. It would be like killing him myself- I” His voice was strangled by ugly sobs.

Rose was frozen in place. She had never imagined what was on Thor’s mind. She had never

heard him cry since she could remember.

She heard the rustling of fabric and then heard Cecile’s soft voice.

“Thor. You can cry. I love you”

Thor sobbed even harder.

“I know I’m horrible but… try to talk to Orick. You’re not alone. I want to see you happy”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry! If only I was stronger, if-”

his voice got cut by something Rose didn’t understand. More rustling of fabric.

A noise she had never heard before.

She turned around and tried to pick from the edge of the bush.

Thor and Cecile were kissing.

The kiss was open-mouthed and intense. Nothing like the one Rose had shared with Cecile. He was grabbing Thor’s hair to get him to his level.