Uncle Caleb and me

[hermeszeppeli]

This original story was written for COWT 11 by Landedifandom, week 3, mission 1 "Age difference"

Rafael is 22,
Caleb is 40
(18 years)

warning: homophobia,
safe

"Rafael was glad that he could keep his head busy with driving.

Chris was in the passenger seat beside him just in case he needed directions - unnecessary since he had the GPS turned on.

He was eventually distracted by their friends in the rear seats and spent most of the travel turned towards them.

Rafael didn't mind the chatter, even if he preferred not to join in. He had noticed from a quick glance to the rear mirror that Samantha had stopped sulking and was laughing with the others.

Of course she wanted to spend the drive with her boyfriend beside her, and of course Chris was too dense to even think about it.

Rafael was glad she was having a good time. She was slowly but surely becoming a part of the gang, just like Cynthia when she had started dating Rob a couple of years ago.

Sam probably felt a weird mix of a desire to impress Rafael - since he was her boyfriend's best friend - and mild jealousy towards him, but he liked her regardless.

She was the best girlfriend Chris had ever had since he had met him in high school.

She was just his type - Small, cute, with huge breasts - but also strong-willed, ready to call him out when he needed to.

She was everything Rafael wasn't.

He wondered if things would have been easier on him if she was bad.

If she had been like the others.

But she didn't cheat on Chris, she wasn't with him just because of his good looks or because he was good at fucking. She really cared.

If only I could hate you, Sam.

They were going to spend a week on vacation in the cabin of Chris' uncle in the mountains.

It was mostly for Chris' birthday but also because they wanted to celebrate the end of the exams and it was a cheap trip.

It wasn't a destination that Rafael would have chosen on his own but Chris always managed to drag him on whatever the hell he wanted to do.

Rafael didn't know why he hadn't grown tired of him already. He had all the opportunities to throw him away and replace him with better friends.

He was warm and kept adding people to the group without giving up on anyone. Chris always reached up to him when he tried to shy away.

He may have pined for Chris for too many years already but that had never stopped him from getting around once he had finally come out. Actually, he had caught up in university for all that he had missed in high school.

That was probably the reason why no one had suspected he had a crush on Chris, not even Rob, who was bi and more observant than most.

He tried his best to avoid guys that looked too much like his best friend, just to be safe.

Chris had been the last one he came out to, because of the fear he had of losing him as a friend.

After this long, he had thought it would have been easier if that had happened.

If Chris had looked at him with eyes full of disgust. If he had punched him, calling him a fag.

He would have cried his eyes out, he would have felt like the earth had crumbled beneath his feet but after months, or a year at most he would have been able to get over it. Or if he had chosen a different university and they had lost contact.

But that hadn't happened.

Chris had been surprised, but he had hugged him, thanking him for his trust and telling him that he would always be his best friend no matter what. That if someone had bothered him, he would punch them.

That nothing would have to change between them.

Rafael had sobbed at those words, hugged him and dirtied his shirt with snot. Because those words felt the best and the worst at the same time.

Would you still say the same if you knew?.

He didn’t want to ruin their bond. He wanted to appreciate what they already had.

He knew it was time to move on. He didn’t want to lose him as a friend.

The house was beautiful, with two levels and just in front of a lake.

Not at all what he had imagined since it was way more modern and bigger than what he had in mind when Chris had called it a cabin.

Sam put his thoughts into words.

"You call this a cabin, Chris?? It's Instagram-worthy!"

Cynthia visibly relaxed "And I was so worried this was going to look like a setting from a horror movie!"

Rafael took a photo with his phone. Rob patted his shoulder from behind, watching the result. "Send it in the group, okay?"

“Sure.”

Rafael was going to take another picture when he noticed through the camera that a man was walking towards them from the outskirts of the nearby woods.

"There's someone in there"

"Uncle!"

Chris ran towards the man, almost jumping on him.

Rob looked at them confused "Who is that?"

Cinthia tried "Maybe the caretaker?"

Sam, Rob and Cynthia looked at Rafael, hoping for an explanation he didn't have.

Chris cleared any doubts right after.

"This is my uncle Caleb! And these are my girlfriend and friends!"

Rafael felt incredibly dumb.

He knew that Chris often went to visit his uncle and that the cabin was his, but he had always thought it was a second house used for holidays, not the actual home of the man.

He looked so much like Chris it was almost painful.

Something out of a time machine, eighteen years into the future.

"Nice to meet you"

Caleb said with a soft smile as he shook his hand like he had done with the rest of the group, even if Rafael noticed a slight hesitation when it came to him.

"Nice to meet you too"

Uncle Caleb avoided small talk, but from time to time Chris made him join in with them.

Rafael and the man never actually talked directly, but he noticed how Caleb looked at him when he thought he wouldn't notice. He wouldn’t have thought any of it if Rob didn’t ask him when they were alone.

“Hey, have you met Chris’ uncle before?”

“Nope”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Why?”

“Well, I noticed that longing look he throws at you from time to time and wondered…”

“You shouldn’t be surprised. I’m just that cool!”

Rob laughed a bit too much at his joke but left it at that.

At first, he had seen only how uncle and nephew resembled each other but he was taking note of all the differences.

Caleb had the same muscular built, clear eyes and the short dark blond hair Chris had, but the bare hint of a beard and his general dull atmosphere made Rafael feel hot under his sweater. Chris’ uncle was an introvert, he didn’t have the confidence nor the warmth of his nephew. And yet, Rafael caught himself indulging in the sight regardless, his eyes bouncing from one to the other more than he wanted to admit. It was a first for him to be attracted to a man so much older than himself.

Rob and Cynthia, Chris and Sam shared a room each and Rafael got one all for himself.

The privilege of a fifth wheel.

It was difficult at night.

He wasn't even that close to Chris and Sam's room - there was the bathroom in between the two bedrooms - and yet he could still hear them.

Not just Sam's high-pitched, delighted moans. Even Chris' deeper needy ones. the bed cracking under them. The way Chris slammed the wall when he came.

It was like he could see them right in front of him.

Drunk Chris had told him about Sam's love for crotchless panties, about how soft her tits felt, how satisfying it was to not be able to fit them all under his palm.

He had hoped it was a one-time thing but this was the third night they went at it and this started to sound like a special kind of torture tailored to him. It would have been perfectly fine if they weren’t that loud.

He regretted not bringing someone with him as well, just not to feel left out of the fun.

Chris had said that he would even rent a bigger car if Rafael wanted to invite one more person.

But Rafael didn't have anyone like that.

Why do you have to be so nice?

He had solved part of the problem by listening to music with his phone but he didn't dare to fall asleep with earphones on. He had this silly fear of strangling himself with the cable so he had given up on that.

But he also didn't want to sleep on the couch in a home that wasn't his, and he sure as hell did not want to explain why the morning after.

He dressed and went out for a walk, hoping that in a couple of hours they would finally be done and asleep.

Through the glass door he noticed that Chris’ uncle was smoking in the veranda in front of the lake.

He didn't know what to do and was almost changing idea when the man turned towards him as he had heard him.

Caleb made a silent gesture for him to join him.

"Hello"

"Hello. Trouble sleeping?"

"Yeah..." that was a nice way to put it.

Caleb took a pack of cigars out of his pocket jacket and shook them in front of him.

"Woah, cigars? No thanks, I won't be able to finish one all by myself"

"You know you're not supposed to smoke them in one go, right?"

Rafael laughed. "Yeah, of course. But I don't even have a lighter on me, it would end up forgotten in a pocket and would just go bad. It's something you're supposed to share between people, right?"

Caleb took a huge drag of his cigar, looking pensive.

Then he offered the same cigar to him, wordlessly studying him.

Rafael took it because not doing it would be even weirder.

"Thanks"

He said, and Caleb smiled his usual soft, bitter smile.

Rafael stared at the lake and puffed the smoke out, coughing lightly.

“You shouldn’t inhale the smoke,” Caleb warned him.

Rafael laughed it off.

“Yeah, I know, it’s just stronger than what I expected. Not bad, though”

They stayed like that for a while. No words between them, just the light brush of their fingers when they passed each other the cigar from time to time.

It kept getting shorter, and Rafael feared what we would do when they didn't have that excuse.

"Chris had told me a lot about you"

Caleb said, in an uncharacteristic attempt at conversation.

Rafael looked at him questioningly, but he didn't seem to have any intention of explaining himself further though.

A realization hit Rafael for the first time.

That was the reason for the weird stares until now? For the awkward silence?

"Oh. About his gay best friend?"

"What? No!"

Caleb blushed to his ears.

"Chris doesn't out people like that!"

That phrasing. That indignant tone.

Rafael finally got it.

The uncle that lived by himself. The uncle Chris went to visit, always alone. The one that didn't get invited to Chris' sister wedding.

"Oh."

Caleb scratched the back of his head.

"Yeah. Chris is a good kid. He was the only one in the family that kept talking to me when I came out."

Rafael could imagine that. Chris had warned him that his family wasn't as openminded as him when he had visited his home the first time.

So it was probably thanks to Caleb’s influence?

"I used to babysit him when he was little. When his parents forbid him to visit me without an explanation he ran away from home just to meet me. He was... thirteen I think?"

Caleb smiled at that memory like it was something nice.

"It was that bad?"

"Well, it was different back then. Things changed a lot since I was your age."

"You're not that old, come on"

"I'm 40."

"Old. But not too old."

Rafael said.

"Too old for what?"

Rafael took out the cigar and placed it on Caleb's lips, brushing them with his fingertips.

Rafael saw his eyes grow wider but the older man took it between his teeth.

"I wonder,” he said, his eyes dropping to his lips and back up at his eyes.

Rafael didn’t really know what he was doing nor what he was expecting, but it wasn’t a nervous laugh and silence. Seeing an old man get so flustered by that tidbit of teasing made him interested.

“Am I your type?”

Caleb actually dropped the cigar into the lake. It plopped into the dark with a fizzing sound.

“Oh, fuck!”

Rafael laughed out loud, resting his arms on the wooden railing.

“Too far?”

Caleb rubbed his temples and a low, frustrated growl escaped his mouth.

“I know, I know… it’s the stares, right? I’m really spending too much time on my own lately. I’m forgetting how to deal with people. I’m sorry I gave you the wrong impression. It’s just that you remind me of a friend”

Rafael hoped the disappointment wasn’t obvious on his face, but he hid it with more teasing just in case.

“Is he hot?”

“He was. I have no idea where he is now.”

"You two were..?" He didn't know how to phrase it so he just gestured awkwardly.

Caleb shook his head.

“Never. But I had it bad for him.”

That bitter fondness that he could still hear in his tone was probably what made him ask the following question.

“And how did you get over it?”

Did you ever get over it?

“... he didn’t take it well when I told him. He literally beat it out of me”

“Fuck”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. It’s was a long time ago”

Rafael had thought that he would have preferred a violent reaction but his heart hurt just imagining what Caleb must have gone through.

Rafael was a very spoiled kid, wasn’t he?

“I’m sorry I brought it up”

He didn't know what else to say.

"Don't be."

Caleb shrugged it off easily. And yet Rafael felt like he had ruined the mood.

He left soon after and came back to bed.

Thankfully Sam and Chris were silent by that time.

"You disgusting fag!"

Chris pushed him on the floor and started kicking him.

Rafael was so shocked he didn't even yell or cry out for help.

Chris would never do this. I can't believe this, it's not.

"Stop!"

Caleb's voice was strong and reassuring.

The kick stopped.

Chris had disappeared.

Rafael hurt all over and was sobbing.

"It's okay. You'll be fine."

Caleb was patting his back. It touch was warm and soothing..

Rafael hugged him, unable to speak.

"You'll be fine"

Caleb kept saying, hugging him and caressing his hair.

"Thank you..."

Rafael stayed in his lap for a while,

It felt good.

So incredibly good.

Rafael woke up unusually early, even before his phone's alarm clock rang.

He was hugging his pillow tightly and he could feel dried tears on his cheeks.

The talk of the night before must have affected him more than he thought it would.

He groaned in the pillow, the images of his dream still a little too vivid on his mind.

He sneaked in the bathroom and prepared for the day.

He was a bit less sleepy after the shower and was headed to the kitchen when he heard the sound of someone else trafficking with pans. He wasn't sure about it and felt silly for doing it but he still unbraided his long hair, checked himself in the mirror in the corridor before greeting Caleb.

He could make things awkward, thinking back at his dream or bringing up the conversation from the night before or he could light things up. It was all up to him.

"Good morning..."

He saw the older man jump a little at that, but he recovered quickly.

"OH! Good morning, Rafael"

He liked how Caleb said his name - he got the pronunciation right.

He may have stretched to lift his t-shirt up on purpose.

Still, he smiled a little seeing the man's eyes darting on what little skin he was showing.

"Are you making breakfast for everyone?"

"Well, I was craving pancakes so I just thought of making more for everyone..."

"You're spoiling us too much. Let me help you"

"Oh, there's no need"

"I want to," Rafael said, brushing the old man arm and feeling the goosebumps he caused "Where is everything?"

"Um... the syrup is in that drawer and the blueberries are in the fridge"

"Okay"

He took them out and set the table while he tried for small talk.

"It's been a long time since I last had pancakes. Missed the taste"

"Me too. I like them but making them just for me is too much work"

"I get it. I usually make them with my sister when I go back home. We're too stressed to make them in the dormitory. Well, I did make them just once, left them on the table and went to the bathroom and by the time I was back they were already gone. I can't prove it but I know it was our roommate Fred. He always inhales his food."

Maybe it was his annoyed tone that made Caleb laugh so much.

A low, deep laugh. Rafael took note that it was the first time he had heard him laugh so wholeheartedly.

“It wasn’t that funny, Caleb”

"Yeah, yeah it was just the way you said it that,” the man coughed a little and finally recovered.

”I can imagine. Here it is. Try out the first one”.

He dropped it on a plate. The smell was incredible.

Rafael didn't have to be told twice.

"Woah. Amazing. Fred would wipe them all out in a second"

"Ha ha.Thanks"

Caleb said without looking at him, too focused on what he was doing to notice he was looking at him.

The light coming through the window highlighted the green in his eyes.

Bring out the blond of his eyelashes and beard. Even the light hair in his arm. His hands looked rough and big. Strong.

They had felt amazing in his dream.

Rafael stopped that train of thought right there. He sat on the table, focusing on his pancake.

The others woke up soon after and the quiet in the kitchen was replaced by laughs.

They decided to swim since the weather was sunny.

Everyone changed in their swimsuits and jumped on the lake while Rafael settled on the shore, watching his friends from afar.

"You're not joining?"

Caleb asked him, surprised. When Rafael turned he got the best view of the man stripping in front of him.

He was glad he was taking his shirt off above his head so he couldn't see the thirsty, undignified face Rafael made. He didn't shave, thank God. Rafael would have gladly run his hand above his abs and pecs.

Rafael would have bet Caleb was the type to choose the plainest board shorts ever fabricated but he was wearing a pair of black jammers that made his glorious ass look even better. Not the type to skip leg day, uh?

"Oh- oh no. I can't swim"

Rafael scratched the back of his head, looking away from that gorgeous sight.

"What?"

"Ha ha ha, yeah. Well, it's not like I'm scared of even entering the water. I can like, float a bit but I can't move. So I usually just sunbathe"

Caleb looked at his friends with his hands on his hips and a troubled look on his face.

Rafael was sure he was going to join them but then he sat in the beach towel beside him.

"Oh, there's no need for-"

"Oh, I live here. I can swim as much as I like. Or would you rather read?"

Caleb asked, eyeing the book that laid between them, opened in the middle with a bookmark inside.

Rafael closed it and put it aside.

"I enjoy the company"

Rafael hoped he didn't sound as flirty as he thought he was. Damn, this was getting worse each day.

The teasing was still okay but hitting on his best's friend uncle was a bad idea, right?

"Me too. So, what were you reading?"

"Oh, Forbidden Colours by Yukio Mishima. I've read it years ago the first time. I'm halfway through it now. I'm not sure if I'd recommend it, though"

"Well, if you're reading it twice, it must be good. What is about?"

"It's about a beautiful young gay man that has to marry a rich woman"

"Oh."

"Well, it's more complicated than that. There's this famous evil author that hires him to take revenge against his exes and pays him to make them fall in love this him and then break their hearts? And the protagonist has also these hookups with men behind his wife's back and there's a lot of emphasis on the mix of guilt and resentment he feels for her since it's all narrated in his point of view. It's also probably autobiographic and well...It's pretty depressing but still good in my opinion"

"Sounds tough," Caleb agreed, "I feel bad for both of them."

"Yeah."

Caleb and him met eyes and he could feel his heart beating faster.

Was he the only one to feel the electricity between them?

"Hey!"

They both jumped and Rafael saw Chris waving at them, getting out of the water.

"What are you doing there?"

"We're just talking!" Rafael said. Why was he feeling a pang of guilt in his heart?

"I was thinking," Chris continued "that my uncle could teach you how to swim!"

"What, I-" Rafael blabbered "I don't want to bother him!"

Caleb was blushing. He could clearly see the red on his ears trough his short hair.

"Well, I kind of wanted to ask, but I didn't want to make you feel bad-"

Chris put his hands on his hips looking at them from above with a big smile on his face.

"I know, that's why I'm the one saying it. My uncle is shy but he's a really good teacher! He was the one that taught me"

"Well, but you were a kid..."

Rafael knew it was a bad idea. He knew it. But it was also an offer he couldn't refuse.

"Well, if you wouldn't mind, then- but. I'm bad. I could drag you underwater if I get scared."

Caleb shook his head.

"Don't worry about it."

When they entered the water hand in hand -it didn't mean anything, okay?! - Rafael could see Rob hidden in the water with only his eyes sticking out, making bubbles like a five year old. He had the most knowing look he could master. Rafael could picture a little too well his annoying smirk underwater.

Cynthia was swimming nearby and Rafael heard her ask him "Why are you making that face, Robbie?"

Rob wiggled his eyebrows and disappeared in the water completely.

Rafael was glad his skin could hide most of his blush.

'He's going to tell her, that stupid gossip'

"Is this level still comfortable for you?" Asked Caleb. The water was reaching Rafael's shoulders while it didn't cover Caleb's pecs yet. What a giant of a man, really.

"Yeah. I wouldn't go father, though"

"Okay."

First, Caleb let him try to stay afloat on his own with his back on the water. Then he made Rafael turn side, took his hands on his and walked backwards while he let Rafael kick with his legs alone. It was more tiring than he remembered but it wasn't as scary as the last time he had tried it, but it had been a while.

"I think I could try something harder, too!"

"Then you should try coordinating your arms and legs. I'll keep you afloat"

"Okay."

"Grab my arm. I'll put a hand on your belly"

"O-okay."

He felt his hand shift on his torso, just brushing one of his nipples and then settling over his stomach.

"I'll bring the other one over your chest. You start when you feel comfortable"

"mmm"

He hoped Caleb didn't notice the thumping of his heart, or at least didn't understand the reason. His fear of water was only part of the reason.

He moved his arms and legs, trying to build a rhythm.

"Try slower, then build up your pace. Turn your head from side to side to breathe."

He tried, waving his arms, but kept hitting Caleb's side with one.

"Sorry"

"I'll try keeping you afloat with one arm."

"What?"

Caleb's hand moved to his middle, and he shifted to his side, the farthest away from his arms as he could without losing his grip on him.

"You can do this?!"

"Not for long. Try to swim"

Rafael tried, more than a little impressed by the other's strength.

He was short and he was on water, but he still was a full-grown adult.

"Okay, you're going well. I'll try to let you go. Think you're ready?""

"let's try it"

Caleb's hand left him, and Rafael had to sustain his whole weight alone. He tried his all to keep his pace but when he ran out of breath he didn't have the courage to risk inhaling water instead of air so he stopped, his feet meeting the lake bottom. It was closer that he had imagined. When he stood up, The water didn't reach his knees..

"DID I JUST SWIM?!"

Rafael shouted.

"YES!" Caleb replied farther away.

He spent the whole afternoon trying to practise until he was too tired and went back to his room for a nap.

He didn't mean to sleep the whole evening though.

When he woke up, it was almost midnight.

No one had woken him up.

But now he was feeling perfectly awake and his stomach growled, so he went downstairs to get something before probably reading and eventually trying to go back to sleep.

He didn't expect to find Caleb still awake, sipping a glass of some kind of liquor.

He was sitting on the couch, the tv set on a music channel kept at low volume.

"Hello! You slept like a log. Chris tried to wake you up"

Rafael laughed. it was because of him that he hadn't slept well for the last three nights.

"The swimming must have tired me out more than I thought"

"Well, you're not used to it. I didn't expect you to improve so much in half a day though. Good job. I saved you some leftovers. Want me to warm them up for you?"

Rafael nodded.

"Thank you"

This man was too kind for his own good. The more he spoiled him the more he wanted him to keep going. It was sausages and broccoli. Simple but good.

"Do you think you could help me again tomorrow?"

"If you trust me, sure"

"Of course!" Rafael sat on the couch, the plate in one hand,eating eagerly, "honestly, I had kind of given up on learning how to swim. I thought I was too old for that"

"OLD! Aren't you the same age of Chris?"

"Yes, but you know, you’re supposed to learn when you’re still a kid so..."

"Don't worry. Everyone has their own pace. Some never learn. But I do think it's a useful skill. You'll improve in no time. Oh, sure. This deserves a toast actually. Do you like rum?"

"Let's try it."

Caleb took his empty plate and brought him the bottle of rum and another glass for him, while refilled his.

"I usually don't smoke inside but fuck it." he said, fishing out a new cigar.

He looked happy when he chopped the ends and placed it on Rafael's lips.

He even lighted it for him.

'Is he just extra nice or actually hitting on me?' Caleb looked a lot more relaxed around him now, compared to the night before.

What had happened?

"Oh! Do you like chocolate?"

Rafael nodded, even if confused.

"Yeah?"

Caleb disappeared to the kitchen again.

It was in that moment that he looked up and he noticed Cynthia watching from the stairs.

He almost dropped the cigar he had in his mouth.

Since how long had she been there?!

Cynthia mouthed a delighted "ooooh!" before she covered her lips with her mouth. She double thumbed him, winked and walked back to hers and Rob's room.

Rafael wanted to die.

Thankfully Caleb didn't seem to notice any of this when he walked back with a plate in hand.

"Dark chocolate. Try them together. It's the best combination"

"What?"

"Trust me"

Rafael was a bit doubtful but he tried it out regardless, looking sceptically at him.

But it was really, really good.

"Damn"

The squeeze he felt seeing Caleb smile should not have felt so unexpected by then.

"I know, right?"

"You're really blowing my mind"

"My pleasure"

'Wished you'd blow something else too' Rafael thought, but he bit his lip. He couldn't get there, could he?

But if his mind had wondered before, now it was sailing.

Caleb must have looked stunning at his age

Rafael didn't know the circumstances of it, but he couldn't help but hate the stupid homophobic dick that broke's young Caleb's heart. Such bad taste.

Still,he got the impression that Caleb had aged well. He had the build of someone that was actually strong, unlike the many guys he had seen at school that looked tough but run out of breath and couldn't keep up with him when things were getting interesting.

For one thing, Caleb had both stamina and strength. He would have gladly squished those hairy pecs that would certainly not fit on his admittedly small hands.

"I may be the one to get the wrong impression this time, you know,"Caleb said, looking at the glass and not at him "if you keep looking at me like that."

Rafael's eyes looked back up at his green eyes.

Rafael put his half-empty glass on the small table in front of the couch.

He was just tempted to laugh it off, but he asked instead, feeling his heart in his throat.

"What if it wasn't wrong?"

Caleb laughed.

"Please, stop making fun of an old man"

"I said you're not that old"

Rafael repeated. He trailed his fingers on the older man’s hand.

Caleb stiffened but didn’t shy away from his touch

“You didn’t reply”

“What?”

“When I asked if I was your type”

“You’re too young.”

“I’m not that young.”

Rafael sat closer.

“So, age aside?”

He gently touched the side of Caleb’s face.

“Do I look too much like him?”

“What? No, you’re nothing like him.”

Caleb immediately replied. He grabbed his hand.

Rafael thought that it was to put it away but he just pressed it more firmly against his cheek.

“You didn’t even resemble each other that much in the first place.”

“Oh. Who is hotter?”Rafael teased.

Caleb couldn’t suppress a laugh. He met his eyes for the first time.

So he wasn’t the only one after all.

“Don’t ask obvious things”

when Rafael finally kissed him, Caleb kissed back, dragging him over himself over the couch.